Back-to-school season is stressful for more than just kids.
On top of all the money parents have to spend getting their kids ready to go back to school is the added politics and drama of mom cliques.
“Parenting is a very sensitive topic. Everyone has different standards and different family dynamics and values,” etiquette expert Jo Bryant told the Daily Mail.
“Most primary school classrooms have an eclectic mix of parents, from the mega-worthy and super-efficient to those who are always disorganized and just don’t care. You have to be somewhere in between.”
But how do you know which mom you are in the group?
Here are Bryant’s six most common mistakes to avoid to keep you and your child from social suicide.
WhatsApp etiquette
If the incoming messages seem never-ending and too much to handle, it’s perfectly acceptable to turn off the mom group chat. What is not acceptable is to walk away from the conversation altogether.
On the other hand, don’t bombard him with questions and rely on the conversation for your information – the flow of messages can annoy the parents on the receiving end.
Instead, check the school’s announcements and messages before sending all your questions and concerns, and keep the topics to the big practical conversation – for academic purposes only.
Work from home during play dates
Setting up a playdate for your child while you work from home is fine—as long as the other parent agrees.
And yet, you must be accessible to children. Leave the door to your office open and let the kids know you’ll be there in case they need you.
Complain about play dates
If your child goes to a friend’s house and eats fast food or watches more TV than usual, don’t complain – just don’t let them go back there for a date.
Gossip moves fast and there’s no reason to talk bad about another’s parenting style.
And if your offers for a playdate keep getting rejected, take the hint and move on—don’t take it too personally.
On a similar note, if a parent is treating your child and spending a good amount of money on them, or taking them a long distance, it’s proper etiquette to return the favor.
Not volunteering at the event
You don’t have to volunteer at every event, but if you’re participating, you should offer to help.
Other parents may find it frustrating to see you walking around and enjoying the school event, but never doing anything behind the scenes.
Use of telephones in the playground
The playground is not your office, and once you’re there, you should stay off the phone unless it’s urgent.
Not only does being on your phone give off an uncomfortable vibe, but it also sends a message that you don’t prioritize your child.
Putting the phone away also sets a good example for your child to be present and in the moment.
Be happy for your child
Of course, you should be proud of your child and his success, but other parents probably don’t want to hear it – especially when you compare your child to their children.
Instead, go ahead and brag to family and family friends. If another parent compliments your child, say thank you – but don’t turn it into a whole speech about how well they’re doing.
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